PERKONGSIAN ILMU PAGI INI (P. I.P.I)
HIMPUNAN MUZAKARAH BERSAMA (USTAZ HJ KAMIL )
Jumaat , 30 Rabiulakhir 1436H.

TERIMA KASIH ORANG CHINA! Pak Ya membela itik dan angsa, Pak Ya membela di dalam kolam, Kita mulia bukan kerana bangsa, Kita mulia kerana Islam. Ustaz ingin mengambil kesempatan di sini untuk mengucapkan Selamat Tahun Baru China kepada masyarakat keturunan China khususnya yang beragama Islam. Kepada yang 'belum beragama Islam' renung-renungilah tazkirah kali ini.

 CERAH-CERAHKAN: Banyak hujah yang menyokong pendapat atau teori Islam datang ke Tanah Melayu dari China dan bukan dari pedagang Arab :

1. Wujud hubungan perdagangan antara pedagang Arab dengan Canton China terlebih dahulu sebelum berlaku urusniaga di Pelabuhan Perdagangan Kesultanan Melayu Melaka.

2. Sejak abad kesembilan Masihi lagi, peniaga Arab yang beragama Islam telah mengunjungi Khan Fo atau Canton (kini dikenali sebagai Guang Zhou) yang merupakan pusat perniagaan yang terkenal.

3. Melalui hubungan perdagangan ini, Islam berkembang dalam kalangan peniaga China di Tanah Besar China.

4. Lalu, Peniaga China Islam inilah yang menyebarkan Islam kepada masyarakat Melayu di Asia Tenggara semasa berdagang di sana.

 Ada pendapat bahawa Islam datang dari China berdasarkan bukti yang berikut:

1- Berlaku perpindahan ke Asia Tenggara.
2- Pada sekitar tahun 876M, pedagang Islam yang tinggal di Canton atau Amoy yang berpindah beramai-ramai ke Asia Tenggara.
3- Penemuan Batu Bersurat Terengganu pada tahun 1899M di Kuala Sungai Tersat, Kuala Berang, Terengganu mengukuhkan lagi pendapat tersebut. Batu bersurat ini bertulisan Jawi dan bertarikh hari Jumaat 4 haribulan Rejab, 702H bersamaan dengan 22 Februari, tahun 1303M. Membuktikan bahawa telah wujud sebuah kerajaan tua yang bergantung kepada perdagangan.
4- Sejarah Dinasti Shung (960- 1279 T.M) membuat catatan tentang kemasukan Islam di persisir Pantai Timur sejak tahun 977M. Batu Bersurat ini menyamai batu nisan di Champa Selatan. Penemuan ini mengukuhkan hujah S.Q. Fatimi mengenai teori kedatangan Islam adalah melalui China mulai tahun 878M.
5- Sewaktu pemerintahan Hsi Tsung (878-879M), berlaku pemberontakan di Canton diantara penduduk tempatan dengan luar terutamanya masyarakat Islam Arab dan mengorbankan lebih 10,000 nyawa orang luar.

Hal ini menyebabkan ramai pedagang Islam melarikan diri ke Kedah dan Palembang. Bukti tambahan tentang kedatangan Islam dari China:
1. Penemuan batu nisan pada tahun 1953, di Kampung Permatang Pasir, Pulau Tambun, Pekan, Pahang telah ditemui sepasang batu nisan yang mempunyai tulisan Al-Quran dan kalimah Arab bertarikh 1028M.
2. Penemuan ini jelas menunjukkan bahwa sebelum abad ke-13 lagi, Islam telah sampai ke kawasan pantai timur Tanah Melayu dan dibawa oleh Pendakwah China Islam melalui Laut China Selatan ke Phang Rang di Indo-China dan ke Pekan, Pahang.
 3. Persamaan unsur seni bina di China dengan seni bina pada kebanyakan masjid-masjid di Nusantara seperti di Kelantan, Pulau Jawa dan di Melaka terutamanya didapati mempunyai pengaruh seni bina China yang kuat. Contoh, bentuk bumbung masjid-masjid di Melaka mempunyai persamaan dengan bentuk bumbung rumah ibadat China (Pagoda), iaitu bahagian hujung perabung atapnya kelihatan melentik.
 4. Penggunaan warna merah dan kuning pada kayu kepala pintu dan tingkap masjid, jubin lantai, dinding, tangga, dan kolam air di masjid dan pengaruh atap genting China.

 CHECKLIST :
 1) Banyak hujah yang menyokong pendapat atau teori Islam datang ke Tanah Melayu dari China.
 2) Antara bukti ditemui sepasang batu nisan yang mempunyai tulisan Al-Quran dan kalimah Arab bertarikh 1028M.
 3) Bentuk bumbung masjid-masjid di Melaka mempunyai persamaan dengan bentuk bumbung rumah ibadat China.

 SIMPUL-SIMPULKAN: Segala fakta di atas mengajak kita semua untuk merenungi betapa hebatnya Islam yang telah tersebar terlebih dahulu di Negara China sebelum sampai ke negara kita. Tidak hairanlah sekiranya jumlah penganut Agama Islam di Negara China dianggarkan 60 juta orang ramainya. Cuma yang ironinya ialah ada orang Islam di negara kita yang merasakan Agama Islam hak eksklusif untuk orang Melayu sahaja. Malah bukan sedikit yang menganggap orang China Muslim atau Mualaf China sebagai orang Islam second class! Wallahu a'lam -

 Kalau kita ziarah ke daerah-daerah ramai masyarakat Islam di Negara China seperti di Peking, Beijing dan sebagainya rasanya kita akan kelihatan seperti Mualaf Melayu pula sebab mereka terlebih dahulu Islamnya daripada kita. Hehehe... fahami pantun di atas !7:26 AM Sis Kaiyisah Tazkirah harini sy ambil dari catatan dr abdul basit: BENARKAH ANJURAN MEMPERINGATKAN?

Tentang hadith anjuran supaya memperingatkan bulan Muharram, dengan ganjaran tidak dibakar api neraka, tidak dapat dikesan dari mana datangnya hadith itu. Agak pelik bila lafaz yg sama juga disebarkan untuk bulan2 lain. "Barangsiapa yg memperingatkan bulan syaaban...." "Barangsiapa yg memperingatkan bulan zulhijjah...." "Barangsiapa yg memperingatkan bulan rejab..." Berdasarkan panduan para ulama’ dalam mengenali hadith palsu, dan jika kita biasa dengan hadith-hadith yang sahih, hadith ini perlu kita tawaqquf (jangan sebar, jangan beramal kerana hadith itu). Sebarkanlah penjelasan tentangnya.

Kesimpulan : Sedaya upaya yang mungkin, kita cuba pastikan sebaran yang dibuat menepati saranan hadith sahih :

 عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " بَلِّغُوا عَنِّي وَلَوْ آيَةً، وَحَدِّثُوا عَنْ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ وَلاَ حَرَجَ، وَمَنْ كَذَبَ عَلَىَّ مُتَعَمِّدًا فَلْيَتَبَوَّأْ مَقْعَدَهُ مِنَ النَّارِ ".

Nabi saw bersabda, maksudnya, "Sampaikanlah daripadaku walau satu ayat. Ceritakanlah tentang Bani Israel dan tidak mengapa (jika kamu tidak menyampaikannya atau jika kamu menyampaikannya). Dan sesiapa yang berdusta atas namaku dengan sengaja maka biar dia sediakan tempatnya dalam neraka." (Sahih Bukhari, Kitab Ahadith al-Anbiya, Bab Ma Dhukira Bani Israil.)

والله اعلم . (AAM, Madinah 29 Zulhijjah 1434H)

Advice on Friends A real friend wishes his companions well, He's not one who allows them to get close to hell, Always be careful of the friends you Choose, So, in the end, Jannah you will not lose, If you find your companion is not stopping your wrong, then, be weary, his friendship is not strong. If you see the pattern made, that when you are under your friend's shade, Your Imaan begins to fade, Leave the worthless creation, make friends with Allah, Surely that is a high station!. A dervish who had knowledge of our present situation, Once told his students the following dictation, "The meeting of people will never enrich you, save with the gibberish of useless gossip. So diminish your meeting with people, except for knowledge or to improve your condition" by Imran Ibn Zarkhan Al Shafi Posted by Ahmed at 1:58 pm 0 comments Labels: Youth

Looking at the great blue sky

When you spent a decade of your life fitting a cause with no end, it's not so easy to let go. And when you do, it feels like you are next leading a life with no aim. Even though your purpose of life is apparent and staring at you at your face, the dilemma of letting go leads you to instinctively take on another subject to obsess about. Even tough try as might we make some sense and logic into it, fact is, the emotional process needs to be let out on a more harmless object, with no consequences. We read in a thousand blogs and a thousand websites, watch a thousand movies, they all say the same. We need to live and feel life a little bit. No amount of revenge shopping nor eating, nor relationships will equate to giving you that sense of fulfilment that you have just lost. It has been 6 months since the process begun, grappling with facing the reality was the hardest thing I've ever done. It is even harder than learning how to trust someone who has betrayed you over and over again. We shouldn't deny ourselves the opportunity to live a better life, it shouldn't be traded with a sacrifice of self happiness for the love of your loved ones. In the end, self unhappiness just leads to become the source of unhappiness of your loved ones. We may not know or fear the unending fear of what becomes of the future,but living a life with a dark resentment is no better choice than the former. Thus to me, it is important to be able to be at peace with our own hearts, to have the faith in ourselves to continue this journey not in complete bleakness. Over and over again it plays in my head that I may not know what I want, but I do know what I do not want. I do not want to live a life of denials, a life which warps manipulation like a blanket of gloom sky and deep dark soils without even a ray of silver-lining. A wise friend once told me that our life problem seem so small under this great big sky of magnificence.

The world REALLY is a stage

I've always been a realist. I never wanted to play by the rule of pretend or anything fake. Fact is, the the world really is a stage. We need to be conscious and 'play' our roles at all times. Being a realist gives me the freedom to say and be anything I wanted or to my hearts content, sadly, many people feels sensitive or offended by the real me. They cannot accept the state of freedom and aloofness sometimes I have. People must be really tired to constantly think of the right thing to say and constantly need to be aware so they do not cross any sensitive issues. I find this really appalling. I mean. Come on, we are just humans, surely we always make mistakes, say wrong things, how can we expect ourselves to be right all the time? Or even expecting the self to be politically right all the time is really not realistic. Truth is the human is a selfish and forgetful creature.i know throu my Life 'philantrophy'. I do good because it is the right thing to do and religiously it is required of me and because I feel satisfaction for doing it. People who received your benefits most of the time takes it and forgets about you. They take benefits from others for selfish pursuit, forgets about it, went about reaping life rewards, one fine day comes back and brag to you about how high they have gone. It really is a doggone world. Where were they when you were down, have they not any conscious or shame to brag about their life highs when they have once received charity to you and not even an ounce of remembrance of your good deeds? Not that I am expecting a return nor a wish, but have they not the memory that brings an ounce if shame for bragging ? This things called consciousness really a powerful domain in the alpha male or in this case alpha male wannabe, lets call him Hercules, like the greek mythological half god, Hercules. Hercules thinks that he can act, pretend or drama to get something out of someone and not escape unhurt at the same time. Perhaps he think he can , it is only because my master allow it so. Still this thing conscious makes a person body language and facial expression give away himself. How can one be so self deceiving ? At least know this Hercules is a creature loved by my same master. And this Hercules, as I learned gets self deceived for taking 'charity' from me. So this is how the male play their game to exert control using charity.thank you my dear master for this precious lesson. Then there is other creature, let's call her black widow. She is often a creature of self profession, more often than not would like to believe that she is a creature of good but most times, is of self interest only. That is the true nature of a female human. She is weak and needs constant acts of reassurance from both her male, female and sometimes even childish members of her circle. She always put herself highly, even though has a history of selfish evil pursuits, she tries to console herself that she has a high good for doing so. Can evil acts of selfishness ever be offset by justifying with higher good? An act of evilness is by all definitions still an act of evilness. It is lowly in the eyes of my master. Not by me, why blame me for your own thought of my assumption ? Still this female creature is often mislead by simple acts of philantrophist drama. She has many interests and wants to have her hand dipped into everything. She is a creature of greed. Doesn't really matter wether you genuinely care, as long as you lead her by her emotions or live by her self professed rules, you already can lead her by her nose like ring on a buffalo. Make the black widow feel she is the most important person in the world and You hit jackpot. Question is, what is your interest or stake at doing so ? I'm sorry but that is just how life is. So my conclusion is, as much as I wanted to salvage that pound of innocence in me, I fear it is slowly evaporating with the years if cynicallity and irony I am witnessing. I will still try and keep my sanity with this innocence. But I guess it gives me that extra knowledge that I don't really have a choice but to play along with the stage of the world so that I don't hurt any more sensitive souls, so that I don't let any evil pricks take advantage, so that I keep all greedy pigs at bay so that I divert all who have malicious intent back to good. It is commanded of me. I am no angel, sfar from that I think I am one who makes so much mistakes in this world. Perhaps my mistakes are meant to be, I don't plan, I just believe very much in fate.

Have you no conscience?

Some people spent half their life doing indecent and wrong things to their offsprings and still get away with it posting to the world about how great they have done their job as a parent. Some people sinned towards their offspring while they were babies just because they were helpless and dependent on their parent, but later on forgot about it and wondered why their children behave the way they do.

Can we really go to a religious session, ask for salvation and just forget about it? Telling ourselves that we have been forgive whilst damage done continues to deteriorate?

What about the things we've done and said wrongly to other people?

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Courage to UnLearn

When we go through life's ups and downs, we tend to pick up and learn habits and fears that leaves an imprint in our memory. Yes, I was aware that I was afraid, but it was foolish to think that I can easily overcome the fear that was built upon years and years of failure to take control of life. It was easy for motivators to just say, take charge, or you can break your shell. One's mind needs to rationalise and come in terms with our actions in the past and match desired new knowledge to develop a better self. Today, my company sent me to a public speaking crash course. It was a 2 days workshop. It was a workshop filled with many tactics to conquer our own mind, emotions, tools that we use and the audience. Essentially, I learned that the workshop is about sending the message to people. That's where I realised I have so much of 'clutter' kept stored in my brains ! The trainer was introducing drama skills to be used in persuasive presentations. I love the lightheartedness of that trainer. I realised I carry a heavy negative perception to all things in life. I noticed some emotions more clearly than before. For example : Anxiety when I need to face up to something I have avoided for a long time, which is speaking in front of an audience. Increased breathing and immense shaking while speaking, panic and cold sweat. Suddenly I also realised that there is so much excitement, fun and happiiness in Speaking. I just don't know how to do it properly. And I also realised I have left out such amazing skills in life and chose to focus on a unending ball of problem. As I was searching through the internet on how to unlearn those clutter in my brain, I came across this website called essentiallifeskills.net and pasted be low what I find so moving to me. According to Dr. Robert Enright, a professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin and a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness - forgiveness is a choice. It is the process of uncovering and letting go of anger, while restoring hope and moving on with life. He writes: "People, upon rationally determining that they have been unfairly treated, forgive when they willfully abandon resentment and related responses (to which they have a right) and endeavor to respond to the wrong doer based on the moral principle of beneficence, which may include compassion, unconditional worth, generosity and moral love (to which the wrong doer by nature of the hurtful act or acts, has no right.)" In other words, while there is no question that we have the right to feel resentment and the desire to respond accordingly, we have the ability to make the choice not to. When we do, we refuse to play the role of the victim and we let go of the control and power that the offending person, or situation, has over us. We choose to not allow grudges, hurt or wrongdoings to define our lives. I thank the teaching of the Quran , simple wisdom bestowed to us to be kind even to those who have wronged us has given me a headstart to not be unkind to the one who has wronged me. Because Allah does not allow it, and it was better for me. Now I am beginning to see why. It is late now, I didn't plan this blog article in any way to serve any message therefore it may sound a little confusing to those who are reading it. It has no start, no middle and no end. It is just an expression of my thoughts, what is happening to me. And if the Internet is still working when I die, perhaps my children will read this, and perhaps they will understand why I did the things I did. I started this blog aimlessly, just another place to write. Because I know I love to write. Now I know, I just want to rediscover myself. Unlearning the wrong and living life in peace.

Being Fat and hating it !

I have been fat forever. There was only once in my life that I have ever come close to being attractive. I am not ugly, my friends say. I just need to loose weight ! What's worse is that I did not care for what I eat after childbirth and there u go bam !! 10 more kilos with it ! I never really put much thought to what I eat. At the most difficult times of my times, I eat what is cheapest - which usually means fatty food. Who am I kidding !! Nasi lemak = only RM 1 and u get a stomach full. I never really spared a thougth to how I look. I wonder why myself. All the 10 years I have been putting on weight - my husband never once told me I was ugly. And I believe it - as sweet as it may sound - what a LIE !! Now that I am on my own, I have more time to myself - I am starting to look upon myself. What I do, who am I. What at 35 ??!! Is this mid life crisis ? I don't know. All I know is I hate the way I look everytime I look in the mirror. My clothes are not fitting me. Style ? Forget it ! Worst thing is, this weight issue is starting to cause me health hazards such as : 1) Knee Pain 2) Heel Pain 3) Lower Back Pain 4) Lethargy 5) Exhaustion 6) Skin Problems 7) Hair Problems 8) Menstrual Problems 9) Lack of Focus 10) Frequent Headaches 11) Need for Sleep all the time Wow ! This is the first time I actually list down all my pains and wow !! I am in so much pain. Anyway, the objective of this post is that I have a new goal. I want to start thinking thin. I have no time, exhausted and works all the time, but my brother once told me its a choice on what you put in your mouth. So I want to start compiling more thoughts I can put in my head to help me "Think Thin" so that I can change my lifestyle and take every daily opportunity to do things that will help me loose some weight and gain some strategies on eating more healthy and finding time to exercise. I need to do this for myself and for my kids. I need to stay healthy to take good care of them and the house and my job. I need to have more energy and eating will definitely not get me there. I also need to eliminate all my 'Phantom' problems. Everytime I go to the doc, they either tell me its stress or it the weight, and I pay them for telling me something I already know. DUH !! I've been surfing around reading other people's blog and seems that being fat is associated to lack of self-control and ugliness. Well you got that right alrite - my life was out of control and it was an ugly picture. But at least now I made a choice to eliminate that wild card factor and I made a choice to choose me. I have been giving myself more than I can afford all these years, I mean geez what was I thinking ! I am no saint !! Its not selfish to want to care for self, to want to have comfortable life !! What was I thinking !! And so yeah - it's all a choice, I need to clear all those rubbish philosophies and habits that kept me fat all these years. I will start another post to start thinking thin !

Sanctity of life

Islamic teachings on abortion


Islam rarely permits abortion after 120 days. This foetus is about 112 days old
Muslims regard abortion as wrong and haram (forbidden), but many accept that it may be permitted in certain cases.

All schools of Muslim law accept that abortion is permitted if continuing the pregnancy would put the mother's life in real danger. This is the only reason accepted for abortion after 120 days of the pregnancy.

Different schools of Muslim law hold different views on whether any other reasons for abortion are permitted, and at what stage of pregnancy if so.

Some schools of Muslim law permit abortion in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy, while others only permit it in the first 7 weeks.

However, even those scholars who would permit early abortion in certain cases still regard abortion as wrong, but do not regard it as a punishable wrong. The more advanced the pregnancy, the greater the wrong.

The Qur'an does not explicitly refer to abortion but offers guidance on related matters. Scholars accept that this guidance can properly be applied to abortion.

Sanctity of life


The Islamic view is based on the very high priority the faith gives to the sanctity of life. The Qur'an states:

Whosoever has spared the life of a soul, it is as though he has spared the life of all people. Whosoever has killed a soul, it is as though he has murdered all of mankind.

Qur'an 5:32
Most Muslim scholars would say that a foetus in the womb is recognised and protected by Islam as a human life.

Protection of the mother's life


Islam allows abortion to save the life of the mother because it sees this as the 'lesser of two evils' and there is a general principle in Sharia (Muslim law) of choosing the lesser of two evils.

Abortion is regarded as a lesser evil in this case because:

the mother is the 'originator' of the foetus
the mother's life is well-established
the mother has with duties and responsibilities
the mother is part of a family
allowing the mother to die would also kill the foetus in most cases

Providing for the child


The Qur'an makes it clear that a foetus must not be aborted because the family fear that they will not be able to provide for it - they should trust Allah to look after things:

Kill not your offspring for fear of poverty; it is We who provide for them and for you. Surely, killing them is a great sin.

Qur'an 17:32
The same (and similar) texts also ban abortion on social or financial grounds relating to the mother or the rest of the family - e.g. that the pregnancy wasn't planned and a baby will interfere with the mother's life, education or career.

For the baby's sake


Abortion for the sake of the baby

If it is confirmed in the early period of pregnancy that a foetus suffers from a defect that can't be treated and that will cause great suffering to the child, a number of scholars would say that it is permissible to abort, provided that the pregnancy is less than 120 days old.

Foetuses with a particular genetic blood disorder can be aborted

A slightly more liberal opinion is that abortion within the first 120 days would be permitted if a child would be born with such physical and mental deformity as would deprive the child of a normal life. The opinion of at least two competent medical specialists is required.

Other scholars disagree and hold that abortion is not permitted in such cases.

There is almost unanimous opinion that after 120 days an abortion is not permissible unless the defect in the embryo puts the mother's life in danger.

In recent times in Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khameni has issued a fatwa permitting abortion for foetuses under 10 weeks shown to have the genetic blood disorder thalassemia.

And also in Iran, Grand Ayatollah Yusuf Saanei issued a fatwa which permits abortion in the first three months for various reasons. Saanei accepted that abortion was generally forbidden in Islam, but went on to say:

But Islam is also a religion of compassion, and if there are serious problems, God sometimes doesn't require his creatures to practice his law. So under some conditions--such as parents' poverty or overpopulation--then abortion is allowed,
Grand Ayatollah Yusuf Saanei quoted in Los Angeles Times, December 29, 2000

Widely quoted is a resolution of the Islamic jurisprudence council of Mekkah Al Mukaramah (the Islamic World League) passing a Fatwa in its 12th session held in February 1990. This allowed abortion if the foetus was:

grossly malformed with untreatable severe condition proved by medical investigations and decided upon by a committee formed by competent trustworthy physicians, and provided that abortion is requested by the parents and the foetus is less than 120 days computed from moment of conception.

Attributed, Mekkah Al Mukaramah, February 1990

NB: We have not been able to obtain an English language copy of this fatwa to corroborate the quote.

Rape, incest and adultery


Some scholars state that abortion where the mother is the victim of a rape or of incest is permissible in the first 120 days of the pregnancy.

Others say abortion for such reasons is never permitted.

Explaining the difficulty of such a case, one scholar says:

I believe that the value of life is the same whether this embryo is the result of fornication with relatives or non-relatives or valid marriage. In Sharia life has the same value in all cases.

Sheikh M. A. Al-Salami, Third Symposium on Medical Jurisprudence

It is reported that Bosnian women raped by the Serbian army were issued a fatwa allowing them to abort, but were urged to complete the abortion before the 120 day mark. A similar fatwa was issued in Algeria.

This demonstrates that Islamic law has the flexibility to be compassionate in appropriate circumstances.

In Egypt (where abortion is illegal) in June 2004, Muhammad Sayed Tantawi, the Grand Sheikh of Al Azhar, approved a draft law allowing women to abort a pregnancy that is the result of rape. The law would also make it legal for women to undergo an abortion more than four months after conception.

His decision caused controversy among other Muslim scholars: The mufti of Egypt, Ali Gomaa, said Tantawi's decision was wrong and violated the Qur'an's injunction that "forbids killing innocent souls." He said, "It is haram [forbidden] to abort the fetus after life is breathed into it, in other words after 120 days." However, he added that a woman could terminate a pregnancy if she was in immediate danger.

Islam does not permit abortion where an unwanted pregnancy is the result of unforced adultery.

The soul


Abortion and the soul


Abortion is not permissible after the foetus has a soul
Islam forbids the termination of a pregnancy after soul or 'Ruh' is given to the foetus.

There's disagreement within Islam as to when this happens. The three main opinions are:

at 120 days
at 40 days
when there is voluntary movement of the foetus

This usually happens during the 12th week of gestation but many women don't notice the movement until much later - sometimes as late as 20 weeks.

A relevant hadith suggests that the moment of ensoulment is 120 days:

Narrated Abdullah: Allah's Apostle, the true and truly inspired said, "(as regards your creation), every one of you is collected in the womb of his mother for the first forty days, and then he becomes a clot for another forty days, and then a piece of flesh for another forty days. Then Allah sends an angel to write four words: He writes his deeds, time of his death, means of his livelihood, and whether he will be wretched or blessed (in religion). Then the soul is breathed into his body..."
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 55, Number 549

However, it's important to note that many scholars believe that life begins at conception, and that all scholars believe that an embryo deserves respect and protection at all stages of the pregnancy.

Pretentious PR

I have always sworn by Honesty is the Best Policy. It's a value that I don't think I'd trade anything for. It's the same value that I teach my children. Some people thinks it is naive and rather lie to get their way through, some people thinks nothing of it and has no regards for it.

In my line of work, I have met many people in my field who thinks that you can intend one thing and PR for another. They seem to think that making an impression has nothing to do with what you really think of that person. Even my ex-Boss thinks so. I think it is really naive to think that one can PRETEND to be nice when she thinks or feels otherwise. The tell tale signs are often shown in your faces and your body language silly. How can you build a relationship when you are pretentious ?

I really do not understand how people really believe they can get away with it. The natural being of a human being is forgetfulness and carelessness. And the human is not always meticulous, always somehow leaving breadcrumbs behind about who they really are. If I can see through it, I am very sure, many other people can see through it too.

I think by living with a hypocrite, who thinks nothing of the value of honesty has really taught me alot about reading in between the lines. What is pretense and how to read the signs. If only I slowed down and read the signs - I really can see what morons these people are making of themselves.

Same thing with FB. When one asks you for your FB and you do not feel comfortable giving it to the person, you can always NOT give it. Or you can NOT use it, it is no wonder many people that I know does not use FB as a common platform for their friendship. So extra careful on what they say on FB, one subject may please some friends but might have opposing opinions from another.

Thanks to my dear deceiving partner, I am like Dr. Jekyl n Hyde. Ultimately, I still think it's still a matter of choice.

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1st Barnyard Toothpick Candles features an array of barnyard animals that include a pig, chick, sheep, and cow. These decorative candles are a great way to add an extra touch to your celebration. Whether a farm, barnyard, or animal theme, these candles are a perfect way to top off child’s birthday cake or as adorable toppers for cupcakes.

At Dylan’s Racecar First Birthday Party He Races To the Checkered Flag

One look at the kids’ table and you knew you were at the race track. A black-and-white checkered table cloth marked by orange cone-shaped cups led racers to their place, where each setting was made of a steering wheel placemat. The napkin rings were made of engine hose clamps topped with a toy Dylan racecar driver.

Both drivers and the pit crew filled their tanks on mini cheeseburgers topped with checkered flags and racing tire wheel macaroni and cheese. Butter cream frosted cupcakes topped with racecar wheels were offered as dessert as well as car-shaped sugar cookies in red, yellow and blue.

What’s a party without a cake? Dylan’s tiered birthday cake had twisting roads of fondant and cars racing down the side. A checkered flag topped off this fun racing confection.

A Mad Hatter Tea Party Alice in Wondland Style

Stacy Coon is a gift and stationery buyer, not a professional party planner. But you wouldn’t know it by looking at this Alice in Wonderland Mad Hatter party she hosted. “This was a very fun party to create! I wanted it to be a magical event and I think I definitely accomplished that.”

“When planning events like this I find it extremely helpful to have a color theme that compliments the theme of the party-It helps with the decision making. I keep a sketchbook that I fill with ideas and inspiration during the planning process–I clip photos and keep copious notes.”

If you love this table, you should know that it’s trash. Coon found it on someone’s curb with one leg that needed repairing. After she transformed it with a fresh coat of paint, Coon hand lettered part of the through the looking glass story around the edge of the table.

I picked the candy by the color but also in some cases to tie in the Alice in Wonderland theme-example -The Flamingo Lollipops and the M&Ms-I ordered with text from the story on them.”

“One of my favorite things was the tiered stand that I had the black and white cookies on-because I made it out of melamine plates that I purchased and with my husband’s help drilled the plates and used lamp supplies for the pipe that held them together-The “finial” was a place card holder I had purchased at a craft store in their dollar section but it was perfect! I also love the bird on the glass dome covering the cupcake. He came from the bridal section of the dollar store.”

Olivia’s Parisian First Birthday Party Inspired by Madeline in Paris

Lucky little Olivia got to celebrate her first birthday in Paris. Ooh lala! Inspired by the classic children’s book ‘Madeline in Paris,’ this celebration transported all the guests directly to Paris. Authentic looking passports set the tone for the event as they were mailed out as invitations. Once the guests entered the hotel, they were ushered to the “customs agent” aka Uncle Albert to stamp their passports and collect a meal color coordinated drinking straw and a French flag.

“While my guests munched on French baguettes and hors d’oeuvers, mommy Monica acted as the “tour guide” to Paris. I wanted to keep them busy so we had four stops/destinations to visit and participate (old-fashion candy shop, the patisserie, Madeline’s book and souvenir shop, and Madeline’s World). In addition, to the shops, we had a street vendor artist do caricatures of the visitors. We also had a movie theater to view the Madeline movie.” In Olivia’s World, a Madeline doll house complete with accessories was set for the children to play with. Paris isn’t complete without a visit to the Louvre, but all the artwork was ‘stolen’ so children had to hunt down 150 laminated copies hidden around the hotel.

The centerpieces were huge hot air balloons with French flags to represent the very first hot air balloons flown in Paris in the 1800’s. Décor included a huge Eiffel Tower created from balloons, a candy shop lining the rue (streets) de Paris and a sweet patisserie of cookies for kids to decorate. Local bakers whipped up sugar cookies with Madeline designs and came with edible ink marks and bags of fresh butter cream for the kids to decorate (and get messy) with.

A Frog Prince First Birthday Party

Sometimes it actually is easy being green. But don’t tell Kermit the Frog that we said that! Green was the color and theme of this Frog Prince first birthday party for Roman Alexander. Wanting a unique theme, mommy Katherine Noller-Fernandez of Custom Celebrations chose to make her son a crown prince, and went to complete with two froggy cakes, cookies, gummi candies and much more to make her guests ribbit. Looking for a really special touch? We love that Katherine presented her husband and baby Roman’s grandparents with Oscar-style trophies from the Academy Awards. Thanks to Stacie Tamaki at The Flirty Guide for sharing this great party!

A Boy’s Construction and Building Theme First Birthday Party

Our new Submit Your Baby Party to our Party Girl process has led to some amazing parties coming in. Our Party Girl loves seeing all the ways that you celebrate expecting a baby and enjoying motherhood. And first up in showing off their baby’s party is Stacy Finkelstein, who threw a construction themed first birthday party for her son Logan.

“I decorated the room in construction colors of yellow and black,” Stacy said. Spirals of yellow and black balloons greeted guests into the construction zone while yellow ‘caution’ tape decorated the walls. “We had a lot of babies coming to the party, so I blocked off a play area on the floor with brown construction paper and orange cones.”

Stacy served candy goods to the smallest guests in construction dump trucks and yellow builders hats. This dump truck was filled with yucky trash like ‘dirt’ brownies and gummy ‘worms’. Placemats were triangular signs that read ‘Oversized Load’.

Stacy turned to family friend Joanne Moskin to make Logan’s first birthday cake. With a construction theme in mind, the cake was designed for construction and dump trucks to move dirt around the cake. The dirt in this case was crushed up crumbs of graham crackers and oreo cookies. Detour and stop signs made from sugar were stuck into the cake which looks so yummy.

Lucky little Logan got his own birthday cake to smash. Notice his adorbale bib which reads “I dig being one!”.

Lollipop Lollipop Oh Lolli Baby Birthday Party

Kim Stoegbauer has a passion for all things pretty. When it comes to her daughter Kate, there’s nothing she won’t decorate, design, plan or craft for her little girl. Kate — or perhaps mommy Kim — has a definite sweet tooth. For Kate’s first birthday Kim, author of the TomKat Studio, went all out creating a cupcake themed birthday party. To continue giving sweets for her sweetie, Kate’s second birthday party was a Lollipop bonanza!

With her cupcake party, Kim went with an all pastel color palette, because she “tends to wards more muted colors in my designs and decorating.” But brights were much more fitting for her daughter’s big personality. “The bright colors are a perfect reflection of her! I started by finding the perfect paper for the layered lollipop invitations. It is a rainbow striped paper and was really the inspiration for all the decor.”

A major talent in the world of ‘do it yourself’, Kim created the labor intensive invitations herself using a circle cutter made by her idol and DIY queen, Martha Stewart. “Each invite I made required three circles in different sizes. It takes a bit of strength if you are cutting cardstock, and I have to admit that my arms were actually sore the next day! But who gets sore from crafting?!”

Kim considers herself ‘obsessed with details,’ but paper products are her specialty. Her favorite detail of the party were the cupcake toppers, which she customized with Kate’s name, initials, sayings and photos. “They turned out adorable in the bright colors, on the white frosting topped with bright yummy sprinkles…who could resist?

If you like the decorations Kim made, you can purchase them at her Etsy store. Stay tuned for next year’s birthday party extravaganza. (Kim’s thinking ice cream!)

Avery’s Hot Pink and Zebra Diva in Training Birthday Party

For little Avery’s second birthday party, chic was anything but shabby. This hot pink and zebra colored birthday party let everyone know that she’s not just a little girl, but a diva in training. A touch of walking on the wild side were apparent in everything from bows to her birthday cake. Photographer Navy Sou captured the untamed atmosphere of the party with her camera, and contributed by creating the invitations and Avery’s birthday outfit “complete with Chucks encrusted wtih bling and pink ribbon laces!”

Here I go again ...

Well, I have just gotten a call from a prospective employer this morning and I cannot close a blink of an eye because i am cracking my head trying to think what the heck am i going to tell them why i left my old working place ?

Here i am in the middle of the night trying to get some info on nice things to say about my ex-employer when EVERYTHING was not so nice. In fact it was such a sour experience that it turned into a phobia. While i was searching for some clue on what i could say, i have stumbled upon this article on corporate communications vs organisational culture. It is ironic because corporate communications is often the person holding together the organisational culture should be the last person on earth to advocate negative behaviour. Sigh.. sometimes i wonder if my ex-boss knows what the heck she is doing... and i thought i didn't know what i was doing..

Well, based on that experience, i have officially declared resentment to people with a certain set of background and i know what kind of behaviour to expect out of them since it has been demonstrated to me over and over again... I guess it is the frustration that had me build this wall inside of me.

Anyway, for the sake of me reading in the future of my current thoughts about my work experiences, i have pasted below the article :

CORPORATE COMMUNICATIONS VS ORGANISATIONAL CULTURE

Should corporate communications managers play a role in creating and sustaining a corporate culture within their organizations?

It’s a topic of frequent and often heated debate that ranges from: “No, because corporate culture is something that evolves and should not be managed”, to: “Yes, because corporate culture can be a valuable asset in communicating vision and values internally and externally.”

A tangent to the debate is that corporate culture should be handled by human resources managers, not corporate communications, but that’s a topic on its own. This column will address only the role of corporate communications managers in corporate culture.

The first task is to define corporate culture. In essence it is how an organization gets things done, sometimes referred to as “the way we do things around here”. It can be good, bad or indifferent, and every organization has one whether it is obvious or not.

In some organizations corporate culture simply evolves without any proactive efforts by management, in others emphasis is placed on vision and values, which, in fact, are the basis of corporate culture. Not many organizations have a specific strategy to develop and strengthen their corporate culture – and they probably don’t need one.

What is important is to create the structure within which a healthy corporate culture can grow and be sustained, and that calls for a variety of skills and experience within the organization. But the corporate communications manager ties it all together.

Paul Sanchez ABC, APR, worldwide partner for Mercer Human Resource Consulting based in London, England, believes there are four building blocks of corporate culture all of which flow from an organization’s mission and purpose:

Strategy – how resources will be applied to achieve the organization’s mission and purpose.
Structure – how the organization will arrange itself to implement its strategy.
People – the employees who will implement the strategy.
Process – how the strategy is implemented.

Based on this model it is clear that different teams within an organization are responsible for specific building blocks. The corporate communications manager’s role is to ensure a continuous flow of information across all levels of the organization to ensure understanding and acceptance of the basic premise underlying the corporate culture. For that reason, he or she needs to be involved at each stage of the process to ensure that actions and intentions are unambiguous and can be communicated clearly.

For example, are there any aspects of the organization’s business strategy that can be misinterpreted by current or future employees to mean that certain unethical practices are condoned? If so, it’s up to the corporate communications manager to point them out and develop messaging that leaves no doubt that unethical behaviour will not be tolerated.

Similarly, in the structure of the organization, it may be deemed necessary by management to have off-shore subsidiaries, perhaps even in a tax haven. How does that impact the corporate culture; does it create suspicion and promote secrecy? Corporate communicators need to address an issue like this in a way that protects the organization’s reputation and maintains credibility by being as transparent as possible.

Communications should be aimed at promoting harmony within the organization. Typically, harmony contributes to a positive corporate culture while disharmony undermines positive corporate culture.

The values on which a positive culture can be built include:
Trust
Accountability
Transparency
Empowerment
Fairness
Respect
Sincerity

Yes, cynics will say they are all nothing but clichés, which is true unless there is substance behind them, and here again it’s up to the corporate communications manager to ensure that they are substantial. He or she must bring each of these values to life for employees by providing ongoing examples of how they are being promoted and achieved within the organization. Of course this also means that the corporate communications manager must ensure that the organization is living up to the values by, in effect, becoming the organization’s corporate conscience.

The tools for communicating will obviously vary depending on the size and resources of the organization, but can include e-mail, newsletters, town halls, informal gatherings etc. One of the most valuable ways of promoting corporate culture is to encourage senior manager to do “walk-abouts” as often as possible. A couple of minutes of informal chat at an employee’s desk indicates interest by managers and helps sustain positive corporate culture.

The benefits of a strong corporate culture are fairly obvious; it promotes and encourages good work and makes the organization an attractive employer. But it has other benefits as well, not least of all a cushioning effect when bad news has to be announced, such as lay-offs. It is also far more likely that employees in an organization with a healthy corporate culture will pull together and be willing to sacrifice if necessary when business conditions turn bad.

A word of caution to end with: don’t confuse climate with culture. The climate within an organization is usually transient and can be influenced by factors such as the resignation of a popular senior manager, the loss of a major customer or a general downturn in the business environment. Climate needs to address by corporate communicators, but it is not as ingrained and permanent as the corporate culture.

Here isthe link to the article http://www.cfpr.ca/corporate_comm.html

What is this blogging all about ?

There goes another busy day at the office. While I anticipate waiting for my phone to ring for an interview, I can't do much but wait, search and apply for jobs. I gotta earn my doe to feed the flocks at home..

So, I started this blog thing yesterday. I don't know what makes me want to start it, i guess i think it will help me sort out my cluttered mind. In my younger days, we just write out our daily affairs in the good old journal or diary. Now with this blog thing up and everybody donig in, it is quite irresistable. But then again, I cannot keep from thinking that i cannot share my private thoughts here because the whole world has access to it. And I believe i am not alone. I would be terrified if i sneered a word online about my boss and she happens to read this blog... what in the worl would happen.

So, with no guidance on blogging and no one to share, I am full of curiosity as to how to make this blog thing work. And the funny thing is, i don;t even own a computer ? I wonder how long can i keep this open. What about my old blogs, will it just dissapear 1 fine day ? How long can i keep up with this ? I guess the answer is... who cares for the long term ?

So, here i am back at square one, wondering what made me started this blog. How do i continue and what should i write about ? Should I promote it ? Should I let my friends read it ? I really am clueless. Well, at least 1 good thing will come out of this, a place which i could express myself and declutter my thoughts. I guess i have a lot pent up in my mind, my own opinions about life, work, world, economy (as thought i understand it) and no one to tell. So maybe blogging will help me . So all you bloggers out there, if you can share how can i move on from here, please do let me know, if at all my blog reaches anyone... hahahaha...

Another day passed, another day older, not knowing what lies ahead of me .. funny, only in my 30's do i feel insecure about myself, well that's another topic then.

Mid Life

When chatting with friends about mid life crisis, we often talk about being forgetful, being neither here nor there, too much to do, too little time and for the women visible signs of aging starts to appear. Growing more facial hairs, getting wrinkles, getting more round in the middle is just some of the things we discovered we are facing. Well at least, I discovered.

Sometimes it is good to still have a mother around to tell you or at least pre-warn you what you are about to face in this stage of life. At this age, sometimes we wonder is it normal to still wonder about things in life or is there something wrong with me ? Having too much uncertainty is certainly not something good. Well, thank god there is Oprah Winfrey and buddies with the good old teh tarik for advises.

Being forgetful certainly will not do much good for the career and it is such a struggle to learn up how to cope with short term memory. Lack of energy is also another obstacle we have to face. Well, one thing for sure, it is not something that we women of the 30's face alone.

A friend reminded me to think happy thoughts just about 2 days ago. So, with so much to deal with, a family, kids and career to juggle .. it's easy for one to forget how to be happy and how to keep your family happy. Ironically, in our pursuit for happiness, how did we come to this stage of so much complications in life ? Is life getting complicated or more sophisticated ?

Whatever happen to simple happy life...